Poor Senator Mark Warner

by: Carnacki

Wed Aug 12, 2009 at 11:27:05 AM EDT

WASHINGTON-Citing a marked decline in his appearance and personal hygiene, as well as growing piles of personal items under and around his desk, members of Congress have begun to voice concerns that Sen. Mark Warner (D-VA) may be homeless.

"At first, I thought he was just burning the candle at both ends," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), who noted that the unshaven Warner is always the first to arrive in the morning and the last to leave the Capitol at night. "But then on Sunday, I dropped by to pick up a few things and found Mark asleep under a blanket of Washington Posts on the Senate floor."

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Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV) said he believed Warner was homeless after seeing the bleary-eyed lawmaker rummaging through a trash can on the National Mall. Byrd reported that when he approached Warner, the freshman senator claimed that he was just looking for "some health care reform bill" he had thrown away.

If the formerly wealthy Warner hadn't spent $70,000 to throw a lavish party for the first Daily Kos convention in Las Vegas in 2006 (precursor to Netroots Nation), he might be able to afford to stay at a room at a boarding house. He could crash at my place. It's got a pool and a pond. The pond be good for him.