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Sadly No! slaps around Don Surber so we don't have to:
Poor Don Surber. Apparently he's locked himself in his shack, barricading the door with various auto parts he found lying around his living room. He's sitting in a corner clutching a .22 in one hand and three bottles of Tylenol in the other. "Obama will have to pry the Tylenol from my cold dead hands," Surber keeps muttering to himself while pointing his rifle at the front door. Surber is certain that the FBI, the CIA, the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, CNN, La Raza and The Poca, West Virginia Department of Park and Recreation are all amassed just outside his door, heavily-armed and waiting for the signal to burst through the door, guns ablaze, in order to take away his Tylenol.
Part of the reason why we keep returning to the deep well of the blog postings of this Pliny of Poca - other than to ridicule his personal appearance through the magic of Photoshop - is just that there are only a handful of wingnut bloggers who manage to maintain that perfect balance of laziness, stupidity and insanity that Surber does. In any given post, there are general only slightly fewer errors than there are vowels.
Facts are stupid and irrelevant to the likes of Surber - probably why he's banned our own CA_Berkeley and WV26003 from his comments. Can't have reality introducing on whatever fantasy Surber is freebasing.
But as TinTin at Sadly, No! points out, Surber apparently can't even bother to read the material he links to in his hilarious efforts to back up his delusional claims.
In his well-written piece, author Edward C. Armbrecht Jr. lists solid economic reasons to stop denying the facts, blowing the Charleston Daily Mail's editorial ship completely out of the water.
Armbrecht begins by taking up the gauntlet:
Energy alternatives are the future -- will W.Va. lose out?
With regard to recent Daily Mail editorials regarding "the myth of global warming" and Henry Payne's diatribe against Sen. Rockefeller (Daily Mail, June 4), I'd like to make a few comments.
Leave it to rightwing blogger Don Surber of the Charleston Daily Mail to encourage Democratic candidates to play the Republicans' cheesy anthem by serial adulterer Lee Greenwood, God Bless the U.S.A., over the music of rock and roll legend John Mellencamp, a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee who still writes great songs.
Greenwood, a draft dodger during the Vietnam war, wrote the song because he wanted to cash in on the patriotic fervor of President Ronald Reagan. He wrote the song for his love of green to cash in on the love of other people for the "red, white and blue."
Now I can see why a chickenhawk faux patriot like Surber loves the song but if Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton play anything by Lee Greenwood at a campaign appearance, I'm writing in Alan Keyes' name for president.
Surber also suggested John Denver's Country Roads, which proves even a blind squirrel can find the most obvious of chestnuts.
Did you hear the latest about right wingnut and Charleston Daily Mail blogger and columnist Don Surber? Does anyone know how he avoids prosecution? We're just asking.
We've outsourced mocking of Charleston Daily Mail rightwing blogger and "columnist" Don Surber to other blogs to save energy. The fine folks at Sadly, No! point out how Surber remains a day late and more than a dollar short when it comes to cashing the checks on accuracy.
In his current column, our Keats of the Kanawha offers up some standard anti-Gore fare: "Al Gore is a big fat hypocrite whose farts cause more global warming than the exhaust from a million SUVs":
It is difficult to take his sermons on the coming doom seriously when his mansion in Tennessee consumes 10 times the electricity of an ordinary home. ... Rather than lead by example, Gore and other millionaire celebrities engage in carbon offsets.
Once again Don is that late-to-the-party kind of guy, showing up when the liquor is gone and the guests have already left. He hangs around, nonetheless, boring the hosts until they finally kick him out at 1:00 a.m. I say this because on the same day as Surber's column, the wires were flooded with stories about Gore's recent renovations to his home:
Al Gore, who was criticized for high electric bills at his Tennessee mansion, has completed a host of improvements to make the home more energy efficient, and a building-industry group has praised the house as one of the nation's most environmentally friendly.
The former vice president has installed solar panels, a rainwater-collection system and geothermal heating. He also replaced all incandescent lights with compact fluorescent or light-emitting diode bulbs - even on his Christmas tree.
"Short of tearing it down and staring anew, I don't know how it could have been rated any higher," said Kim Shinn of the U.S. Green Building Council, which gave the house its second-highest rating for sustainable design....
There's a theory held by some that the Charleston Daily Mail's owners keep printing Surber as part of a deliberate attempt to run the Daily Mail into the ground so they can divest themselves of the weaker of the two Charleston papers without violating the Joint Operating Agreement. It's the only reason that makes any sense why a newspaper would publish his ill-informed rantings.
Ordinarily, a Strawman Surber post applying his low-brow pathology to a pop-culture story with a little prurient interest would be just another day at the tailspinning Daily Mail.
But having a national blog like Sadly, No point out his absurdity has him para-gushing Sally Fields - "You hate me! You really hate me!" as if honesty, dignity, and thoughtfulness are secondary to blog-hits.
Break out the Thunderbird, honey, we're paintin' Poca red tonight!
The sad part is that unsuspecting people think his pandering to the intolerant among us is home grown. Like we need that. I sincerely hope Betty Chilton follows Bray Carey's lead and kicks Surber to the curb like Stirewalt.
(Aside to Surber: It may just be that Rowling thought gay adolescents would like to have a literary hero, too, Dumb-Ass. If nothing else, it's enjoyable to watch the slowly dawning cognizance overcome intolerant hayseeds like yourself. Kind of like the dwindling metronome of headbangers reconsidering Judas Priest lyrics.)
As West Virginians, we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard to counteract the stereotype and we don't need Surber exporting the ignorance decent people are trying to fight.
Go back to Cleveland or shut the hell up, Asshole!
(Aside to Bray Carey: The idiot who decided to show infomercials instead of what could turn out to be one of the best offenses in NFL history should carry Stirewalt's luggage to D.C. and stay.)
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