Remember that old song Where Have All The Flowers Gone? A well worn and much loved anti war peace activist song. I remember it well. I sang it to my children many times.
Don't worry I am no American idol star. I cannot sing in a voice that anybody but my once young children would appreciate . So I will give those not familiar with the song the short version of the meaning of the song.
Where have all the flowers gone?
Children born, only to be lost in wars.
Where have they all gone?
Where are the flowers on the graves of the dead?
What have we done to our children?
Why do we send soldiers to their death in needless wars?
Will we ever learn? Will we never learn?
Long, long time this goes on, will we ever learn? Where have all our children gone?
I am wondering if we need to ask these same questions of parents today? Where have the parents gone? Will we never learn?
I came across the following comment. We will call it from a mom named karen. But this could have came from endless numbers of parents because I have heard this far too many times.
Here is what Karen the mom has to say.
"" BEING a calm and relaxed person, it is rare that I can be bothered to be bothered. However, my son's school has discovered exactly the right buttons to press.
Every afternoon we are faced with a barrage of spelling, maths, writing and reading. At the end of a six-hour day they send home a tired and cantankerous eight-year-old and expect me to make him complete another hour of school work.
I have half a mind to keep my kid up until 11pm and feed him doughnuts for breakfast; an exhausted kid on a sugar high should give his teachers some insight into his typical after-school mood.
Just in case there is any chance of idle time on the weekend there is additional homework in the form of assignments. Luckily I have an independent son who refuses to let me have any involvement in his projects. Perhaps he has learnt from experience and knows I'll end up glued to the table and he will get marked down for my bad spelling.
Unfortunately for him, I suspect that some of his peers, who turn out scaled models of volcanos that can erupt via remote control, may actually be wunderkinds, or perhaps they are just blessed with more capable parents.
What about the benefits of homework you may ask?
I searched for answers using the thinking woman's guide to the universe, Google. Interestingly, there was absolutely no research that measured any benefits of homework for primary school kids. On the contrary it seems that there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that homework is at best wasted time and at worst harmful to self-esteem and damaging to family relationships. One study even likened it to child abuse.""
Heard enough from the karen the moms of this world? ........... I know I have.
Karen the mom........... or phil the dad............. many many parents speak like this and echo this sentiment.
Well here is what I have to say to them.
I am wondering where have all the parents gone?
To Moms like karen where ever you are.
Homework is given for many reasons and most of them have nothing to do with some attempt to abuse parents and children . Or to get teachers and schools out of work.
Lets list a few valid reasons for homework.
First and foremost .
Most classrooms are over crowded . With classes as big as 30-35 kids per one teacher it's nearly impossible for a teacher to give kids all the individual attention they need. Teachers are not super humans . They can only do so much. Homework allows a attentive parent to get involved and recognize if their child is having problems. ................. So that in partnership with the teacher and school steps can be taken to make sure the child doesn't fall behind and gets the help if needed to succeed in their school work.
A benefit parents should appreciate.
Karen the Mom complains that projects are given to kids that parents are expected to get involved in............... in todays busy working world far too many parents don't take seriously the need to spend quality time with their children after work and school.
How many families eat dinner sitting in front of the TV? parents and child absorbed in their own interests . Neither bothering to communicate in any meaningful way.................. How many nights are the kids on the computer? or playing a video game? While the parents watch their fav TV show, American Idol and NASCAR being all the rage? ................. How many families spend their time this way? ................. The answer is far too many.
What karen the mom doesn't seem to realize is that parents being expected to be involved in their childrens education is not a new thing. Good Parents consider it their active parental duty to be involved in schools and education on the norm ............. always have and always will. Nothing has changed about the way good parents stay involved in all aspects of child rearing.
What has changed is we have a generation now that was not parented very well and now they in turn have children that they do not understand how to parent well.
We came to the model of two parents working in most families not so long ago and educators began to expect less from parents.............. excusing them a bit because moms had their work duties too . But nobody excused parents completely from the duty of making sure their child is being educated and from being involved. .
If a parent is not the best advocate for their child how can they expect anybody else to be?
Far, Far too often I have heard the exact same complaints mom karen is making here.............. And frankly the same lies she tells about studies that conclude homework is detrimental to children. ( that is a lie) Anybody can come up with a study, and slant it's findings to further their intended agenda.
Mom karen saying homework is detrimental to a kid is simply a lie. or she is sorely mistake and uninformed. The educational community would back me on that. Far too often parents who are either rather uneducated themselves, lackluster about their parenting obligations, or simply lazy make the same complaints mom Karen here is making.
Frankly all they are proving is that they are poor , lackluster fairly incompetent parents. All they prove is that they hadn't given any thought into what is truly needed to educate, and raise a child properly. That now that they have them they want to assign somebody else to do their job for most of the day and have their evenings free to do as they please.
A caring parent gets involved and helps to make homework fun and productive. A caring responsible parent seeks to aid and support schools and teachers to make sure their children get the best possible education possible. A good parent does not whine because they are expected to spend time with their children or help supervise learning for their child.
Somebody needs to teach parents about the lessons and opportunities homework and time spent with their child can provide.
President Obama has made a start speaking about this.............
I will paraphrase. But a close quote............ because when I first heard him say this I stood up and applauded in my living room................ Had he not been on the TV I would have given him that standing ovation in person and then shook his hand.
President Obama when asked about the perceived poor performance of the educational system by a reporter said.
" well now hey........ we need educational reform. But that will not happen over night. More importantly what we need is for parents to remember that it's their job to raise and make sure their kids are educated. Time for parents to turn off that TV or computer in the evenings and spend time making sure that happens for their own children. Schools can't do it alone. Parents have to be involved."
Bravo Mr. President
Every time I hear that I have to stand and applaud.
So I'll end this now and applaud speaking truth to lackluster uninvolved parents for the sake of our children.
But I am wondering something. Suppose we could get permission to change some words in that old song?
Should we teach the children to sing something like this?
Where have our parents gone?
Long time passing, where have they gone?
Can't they see I need them? Can't they be with me?
When will we ever learn? Will we never learn?
I go off to school long time passing .
Mom and dad off to work , long time too.
When their gone I miss them so.
Where have my parents gone?
When will we ever learn? When will we ever learn?
Shall we teach the children to sing this song? Perhaps we will be forced to.
Because it seems we will never learn.
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